Ooh-er, i'd best go steady with this one. Family of mine, I promise this is not going to be seedy or too revealing about myself, but it is going to be one for the less prudish, so if you think its going to scar you for life, i'd look away now. :P
This is something I've wanted to discuss for a while now. Not because I'm perverse, nymphomaniacal or slatternly, but because we're so overwhelmingly caught in a crossfire these days between those who believe sex is purely functional and blush at the mere thought of venturing away from missionary, and those who would happily bump uglies 24/7. These little bullets that should be named "go forth and multiply", Versus "you'll go blind if you do that, lad" have bred so much misconception in society; ages of every kind are unsure. What is socially acceptable is, at least in part, coming full circle again, but it is still HUGELY misunderstood, in my opinion. So forgive me for the touchy subject, but I'm putting some cards on the table. Buckle up, this is going to be long.
The trigger for the decision to write this, came from some surprising sources. One from the blog of a young woman. One from the entire discography of Michael Cretu, and one, from my mother. Yep.
Lets start with the conversation between my mother and I. To cut a long chat short, it boils down to this; I had mentioned, in jest, that if I made a sex tape, I would be famous pretty quickly. It worked for Paris Hilton, why not me? My mother replied promptly with "well would you want men... yanno..." and then she cringed, and went into an elaborate argument of how porn and erotic literature was seedy and degrading. Porn in particular is a controversial thing, one may always wonder if these girls are willingly being recorded or whether circumstance drove them to it as a last resort.
And then I came across this girls blog. Shes a larger girl, one i've spoken to a time or two. She likes to bake, she watches the Vampire Diaries and she has a wonderful sense of humour - it just so happens that she posts pictures of herself nude and more, online. Her blog boasts the banner; "What some women may see as degrading, others see as emboldening, empowering and exhilirating." How about that? Whats more surprising is, the majority of her comments are from women, telling her how amazing and beautiful she is. And though some of her poses are what many would consider to be seedy, all I see is art and beauty.
Sex is a beautiful thing. Yes it is. It is not purely functional, nor is it purely physical gratification. It is the most basic human instinct. It is the key to many medical aids, psychological aids, and it is wonderful for the spirit. It is the foundation for the first religions. It is the basis for some of the most famous works of art. Whether it is with a partner or alone, it is nothing but beneficial (when addressed safely, of course, it shouldn't need to be said but just in case!) and I do find it rather sad that so many of these ideas have been ostracized or forgotten. Heres some facts:
Sex releases endorphins - natural 'feel happy' and painkiller chemicals. Shunning your partner because of a headache? Get it on, and you'd be satisfied and headache free.
Men: Apparently watching porn increases your sperm count. Studies have shown that men who looked at porn of two men and one woman produced more sperm than those who looked at just women. Scientists speculate that seeing competition makes men step up their baby-making capacities.
The female orgasm enhances chances of becoming pregnant. The muscular spasms experienced can push sperm further along the canal and into the uterus - sadly, only 29% of women reach an orgasm through penetration, so a little 'deviance' as some may call it, only increase your chances of pregnancy.
I did read more earlier this week, about the general levels of happiness in people going up if they had regular sex, and what-not. Ambiguous but i can't find the facts any more! But the point i'm trying to make is, there is nothing bad about the whole dance. The oldest advert in the world is for a brothel. Sex is the oldest trading commodity, and its dealers the first to make a 'profession'. The first religions were geared towards fertility, and many rituals had their followers engage in sex, publically, as something to be celebrated. Its instinct. And it really is beautiful - can you imagine anything better than la petit mort - locking limbs with someone you connect with, giving that piece of yourself over and getting the world in return?
Maybe I have a romanticized view, but tales of passion and frivolity have earmarked most of history and some of the worlds most well known stories. You didn't think Sleeping Beauty was awoken by a simple kiss, did you? Think again.
I do believe Ive rambled on enough now, but as a leaving thought, heres a song:
It is by Enigma, Michael Cretu's finest work. It addresses the life of the Marquis De Sade; a notorious French noble, whos unrivalled reputation for sexual deviance piques interest worldwide. His life is of great ethical debate, but by all accounts, his lovers were well pleased and fought for his attentions.
"Sade, Qu'est ce que tu vas chercher?
Le bien par le mal, le vertu par le vice?
Sade, dit moi - pourquoi l'evangele du mal?
Quelle est ta religion, ou' sont tes fide'les?
Si tu es contre dieu, tu es contre 'homme.
Sade - Et tu diabolique... ou divin?"
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