Sex, Passion and The Old Taboo (NSFW)

Ooh-er, i'd best go steady with this one. Family of mine, I promise this is not going to be seedy or too revealing about myself, but it is going to be one for the less prudish, so if you think its going to scar you for life, i'd look away now. :P

This is something I've wanted to discuss for a while now. Not because I'm perverse, nymphomaniacal or slatternly, but because we're so overwhelmingly caught in a crossfire these days between those who believe sex is purely functional and blush at the mere thought of venturing away from missionary, and those who would happily bump uglies 24/7. These little bullets that should be named "go forth and multiply", Versus "you'll go blind if you do that, lad" have bred so much misconception in society; ages of every kind are unsure. What is socially acceptable is, at least in part, coming full circle again, but it is still HUGELY misunderstood, in my opinion. So forgive me for the touchy subject, but I'm putting some cards on the table. Buckle up, this is going to be long.

The trigger for the decision to write this, came from some surprising sources. One from the blog of a young woman. One from the entire discography of Michael Cretu, and one, from my mother. Yep.

Lets start with the conversation between my mother and I. To cut a long chat short, it boils down to this; I had mentioned, in jest, that if I made a sex tape, I would be famous pretty quickly. It worked for Paris Hilton, why not me? My mother replied promptly with "well would you want men... yanno..." and then she cringed, and went into an elaborate argument of how porn and erotic literature was seedy and degrading. Porn in particular is a controversial thing, one may always wonder if these girls are willingly being recorded or whether circumstance drove them to it as a last resort.

And then I came across this girls blog. Shes a larger girl, one i've spoken to a time or two. She likes to bake, she watches the Vampire Diaries and she has a wonderful sense of humour - it just so happens that she posts pictures of herself nude and more, online. Her blog boasts the banner; "What some women may see as degrading, others see as emboldening, empowering and exhilirating." How about that? Whats more surprising is, the majority of her comments are from women, telling her how amazing and beautiful she is. And though some of her poses are what many would consider to be seedy, all I see is art and beauty.

Sex is a beautiful thing. Yes it is. It is not purely functional, nor is it purely physical gratification. It is the most basic human instinct. It is the key to many medical aids, psychological aids, and it is wonderful for the spirit. It is the foundation for the first religions. It is the basis for some of the most famous works of art. Whether it is with a partner or alone, it is nothing but beneficial (when addressed safely, of course, it shouldn't need to be said but just in case!) and I do find it rather sad that so many of these ideas have been ostracized or forgotten. Heres some facts:

Sex releases endorphins - natural 'feel happy' and painkiller chemicals. Shunning your partner because of a headache? Get it on, and you'd be satisfied and headache free.

Men: Apparently watching porn increases your sperm count. Studies have shown that men who looked at porn of two men and one woman produced more sperm than those who looked at just women. Scientists speculate that seeing competition makes men step up their baby-making capacities.

The female orgasm enhances chances of becoming pregnant. The muscular spasms experienced can push sperm further along the canal and into the uterus - sadly, only 29% of women reach an orgasm through penetration, so a little 'deviance' as some may call it, only increase your chances of pregnancy.

I did read more earlier this week, about the general levels of happiness in people going up if they had regular sex, and what-not. Ambiguous but i can't find the facts any more! But the point i'm trying to make is, there is nothing bad about the whole dance. The oldest advert in the world is for a brothel. Sex is the oldest trading commodity, and its dealers the first to make a 'profession'. The first religions were geared towards fertility, and many rituals had their followers engage in sex, publically, as something to be celebrated. Its instinct. And it really is beautiful - can you imagine anything better than la petit mort - locking limbs with someone you connect with, giving that piece of yourself over and getting the world in return?

Maybe I have a romanticized view, but tales of passion and frivolity have earmarked most of history and some of the worlds most well known stories. You didn't think Sleeping Beauty was awoken by a simple kiss, did you? Think again.

I do believe Ive rambled on enough now, but as a leaving thought, heres a song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFLRHPUWBI8&feature=related

It is by Enigma, Michael Cretu's finest work. It addresses the life of the Marquis De Sade; a notorious French noble, whos unrivalled reputation for sexual deviance piques interest worldwide. His life is of great ethical debate, but by all accounts, his lovers were well pleased and fought for his attentions.

"Sade, Qu'est ce que tu vas chercher?

Le bien par le mal, le vertu par le vice?

Sade, dit moi - pourquoi l'evangele du mal?

Quelle est ta religion, ou' sont tes fide'les?

Si tu es contre dieu, tu es contre 'homme.

Sade - Et tu diabolique... ou divin?"

A TEENSY Bit Peeved

Right, so. a Tsunami hit Japan on Friday morning after an earthquake that measured 8.9. Thus far, 350 are dead, hundred more missing, and there are fears the death toll will be much higher. Whats more, the tremor has shook Japan enough for those living anywhere near the Fukushima nuclear power plant have been evacuated, since the reactor's pressure is way above its normal tolerance. This natural disaster will set Japan back YEARS, financially, emotionally... i don't think there is a silver lining anywhere in this.

So of course, everyone is helping Japan any way they can. BUT. And heres the massive 'BUT'...

A collage of facebook statuses were sent my way about half an hour ago (and i've sat here seething ever since) from a bunch of Americans, who, in general consensus believe that this natural disaster is payback for the assault on Pearl Harbour in 1941.

'Scuse my language, but what a fucking disgrace.

Where on earth do these people get off?! Ignorant, small-minded Americans seem to be the vast majority these days (I know these people are in no way the majority - but its these sick individuals that get publicised and give s other countries the bullets to hit them with.) and it makes me sad to say, but its what gets them a ridiculously abhorrent reputation with the rest of the world. Lets look at facts here.

- Hurricane Katrina, 2005. Amongst donations from all over the world, Toyota, the Japanese car manufacturers, donated $2m to the American red cross, and offered to match contributions made to the salvation army.

Since the conclusion of WWII, pertaining to Japan and the USA, I believe Japan have done nought but offered help to most other countries, denying any themselves. Coolant was offered to Japan and was declined.

Some more facts:

- i wonder, if other countries had the same mentality as America, who could claim such things as 9/11, the Haiti earthquake, or hurricane katrina, was payback for offences offered? For certain, Japan could claim that right (Pearl Harbour death tool was approx. 2350 and had no lasting effect other than emotional on survivors or their children). Pearl harbour, pearl harbour, yadda yadda.... Hiroshima and Nagasaki. These two instances killed over 150,000 people and the radiation left behind has left a lasting imprint on the country that is only just beginning to recede.

What about the Vietnamese? The death toll of that incident is about as high as the Japan bombing, purely and simply because America couldn't help but interfere. So while many may class Lt. Calley as a hero, the rest of the world thinks he was an evil jackass second only to Hitler himself.

And while these small-minded Americans are laughing at an unavoidable and devastating natural disaster, the rest of the world are looking on in pity and hoping Japan picks itself up soon. You can all laugh at Japan for this supposed 'attack of karma' but you're quite happy to have your sushi and your stereos, and as soon as something devastating happens to you, you will expect the world to be at your beck and call. Team America does it again, huh?

I would thank your lucky stars, Uncle Sam, that your country seems to be so brown-nosed that when something like this inevitably comes your way, you'll never not have help for it. Grow the hell up and stop acting so bloody childish. Or do you want to claim karma on the British too when you kill us in your friendly fires? Psh.

N.B: This is a direct attack upon those small minded Americans who believe this disaster is a direct rebuttal of mother nature for Pearl Harbour. I exclude any and all of any nation who show respect, integrity, and sympathy for a country that were the 'enemy' too long ago for it to be of any significance in the present.

One year on...

In some ways it feels like a blink ago and in others an age. Either is too long.

Its been a year since i last talked to you or saw you and i miss you terribly, as i'm sure everyone who had the opportunity to meet you would. I still visit every now and then, i still call your phone before i remember, when i think of a good gift for mum, or something you'd find funny or lovely.

My biggest fear is that i forget everything. Your wonderful stories, how you looked... i don't ever want to. I doubt it will ever happen, I'm constantly telling people about you!

In ways it has been a wonderful year too. Michaela and Gavin's wedding was beautiful, you'd have loved it. And now Michaela is expecting the next little Tolson and waiting until birth to find out what it is. So happy for her! Its so exciting, and auntie Sheryl is ITCHING to be a nana. Mum got recognised as the region's kindest tesco person after some lovely compliments from customers. In little ways, we are getting blessings from everywhere. Enough to just lift us when were sad.

Also, Paige had a bit of a brush with fate, having lost control of her car - we were talking about this and reckon you had some hand in protecting her, so thank you from all of us and especially Paige! All in all, we've been a lot closer this year, which makes me very happy.

Now for all of you who didn't get the chance to know my nana, im going to share something i remember that has always made me giggle. In her words:

"I mostly did well at school, but i was never good at cooking (but she was GREAT at it by the time she was looking after me!). We had a test for cooking once, and i got 2 marks. One for my name... and one for the date. (this is when i would laugh and ask why she did so badly.) I was eye-flirting with the builders out of the window! i lost complete track of time, and wasn't interested in the test anyway."

This is a great example of the carefree love my nana held for all things joyful, and got me through many things. It wasn't often i saw her frown. I NEVER saw her angry. When she'd passed, i remember sitting in her living room and Dolly Parton's "i will always love you" coming on the stereo. One passage stuck in my head:

"I hope life treats you kind

And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.

And I wish to you, joy, and happiness

But above all this, I wish you love."

...Says it all, does it not?

And so. Nana, from all of us, we love and miss you. We think about you every day and not a moment goes by when we don't wish you were still here. Thank you for looking out for us all, but don't miss out on too many parties. Enjoy yourself, its about time you relaxed.

Say Hello to Brian.

All of us xxx

"A daily thought, a silent tear, a constant wish you were still here."